Thoughts on Judo, Self Defense, and what it means to stand up for yourself
Rather, it’s Judo, Jiu-Jitsu, Karate, or whatever, people have many different reasons to learn the martial arts. It might be about fitness, or stress relief, focus, or confidence. One thing that is likely on most people’s list one level or another however, is the ability to defend yourself. Often times this also includes the confidence and capability not to let people just push you around or intimidate you.
This brings me to last night. For those that don’t know, I originally grew up in Rose Park, here in Salt Lake City, Utah (I live in Riverton now.) Rose park was never the greatest area, and has really gone downhill since. It has a rough crowd.
Well, I was passing through Rose Park last night, with my wife driving the car, when the car in front of us just stopped in the middle of the road. Clearly they were looking at the house the stopped in front of for some reason, but they did not pull over, or anything. They just stopped… and stayed there.
As we drove around them my wife honked. The car (a gang-banger looking thing… escalade all pimped out) started following and honking like crazy. We ignored them, and they got closer and closer to our bumper. We stopped so they would pass, and they pulled right up next to us.
Okay, so now what to do? In m younger days I would have piled out of the car, swearing, and ready for a fight. Things have changed since then though. I can definitely still hold my own. I am 6′1″, 250 pounds, and really fairly good in a scrap. But other things have changed. In my younger days it was not likely that the other person would shoot or stab me. I also did not have a wife, 4 kids, and a company to run.
My wife asked me what to do. I pointed to the right and said, “turn.” They did not follow.
The problem? I felt like a coward. I feel like protecting my wife… making it so she never has to be afraid, is part of my job. She doesn’t feel that way, and likely would have been mad at me if I had jumped out.
I’m not entirely sure what to feel. Anyone have similar experiences, or any insights? I know in my heart that I serve my family best by staying healthy, and alive, and not taking stupid risks. But being forced to turn away from bullying just tears me apart.
Hey, living to fight another day is a win in my book. I’m new to Judo, but have had lots of training in use of deadly force and concealed weapons. The number one thing stressed was that the life of myself and my wife is worth more than anything else, including my pride. I’m with you, tho. It does suck to turn away from such affronts.
However, as you pointed out, things are different nowadays, and there’s no such thing as a fair fight. Preventing a conflict is the highest form of self defence, in my book.
Just my opinion.
Tom
You definitely did the right thing, mate.
Like you said, in your old days you would have given them hell. But you have more than yourself to think about. Your wife and kids need someone with a level head to think out of situations like that. What would have happened if you had stood up to them like a tough guy and gotten cut or shot? Your family would be in a world of trouble.
Self defense is a tricky subject. I honestly think that no martial art training can prepare you for being attacked on the street. I think it is 99% mental, your own frame of mind, what kind of person you are regardless of your martial arts training.
All these self defence courses and classes just prey on people’s insecurity and use it as a marketing tool.
I was learning wing chun and they constantly brainwashed me into thinking that I could handle myself in a self defence situation, without ever actually exposing me to anything like the intensity of a real confrontation. When one actually happened, I all but froze, unable to do any of my “devestating” techniques. On that night, though, I did have the wherewithall to drag my friends out of the fight and throw them into a taxi. I felt like a coward but was later told that it was better I had the presence of mind to create an escape rather than to have gone headfirst into the fight and probably got all of our asses kicked.
I think you did the right thing, anyway.
Matt,
I really tend to agree with you that Martial arts are technique, but that there has to be something more, something almost just instinct, or it is just so much useless theory. I was just commenting last night over dinner with my wife, that I used to be in a self defense class… this class got people to black belt in about two and a half years. Funny thing is though, that I am pretty confident that in a non-controlled environment I could have kicked the hell out of any of the black or brown belts coming out of that class.
I also appreciate you chiming in on the subject of swallowing my pride and realizing that my first priority is to be level headed, and problem solving (and alive) for my family. Thank you also for your comments to that end Tom.
Tom, I noticed you are training in Judo, and have had other training in combat, etc. I would love to get your input on a post I did a while back (http://www.utahjudo.com/2008/02/11/utah-judo-class-this-week-and-some-thoughts/) regarding Judo, and why I think it is a good style to choose for self defense.
Thanks again guys, great to see your here!!!